Process oriented versus goal oriented training

I was writing at the beginning of the month, here, that I'm always surprised of how much more I enjoy skating when I just go and skate (without focusing on training and progress). And now, that I'm skating with the desire to test in my mind, I'm very surprised again of how less enjoyable skating becomes (the degree of it and also how quickly). To be clear, what I'm saying is that when I "train" I loose the enjoyment and also the motivation. Also, I'm wondering if I wouldn't make the same progress anyhow, without "pushing"...

I started private lessons knowing that I want to improve my skating. And the obvious process, was to do what everybody does, use the testing to structure and motivate the training. Somewhere along the way it seems to me that I've lost the "process" and I've lost sight on my goal to progress, and I've got hooked onto the goal of passing tests. And that, passing tests, wasn't even a goal to start with, that was just part of the "process"!

I've been talking to skating friends about this and also googling "process oriented versus goal oriented training" and it confirms what I feel, that in the long run, a process oriented training is more effective. But, wait, you still need to have goals! And you "have" to find ways to enjoy the process. And whoever red my older posts knows that I'm actively trying to find enjoyment  because I've lost it at points, I think when I was training too hard. In the end, my research's conclusion is that training should be a combination of process and goal oriented approaches. Great!, but I haven't really found specific advice, something that I could apply and help me.

Trying to analyze here: my goal was and is, progress... to became a goodish (in my mind that is an intermediate level) figure skater, and NOT an adult figure skater. The difference in my eyes is that the adult skaters look more hesitant. I don't think this is unrealistic... The second goal would be to enjoy my time skating, and in my past experience, pushing for progress was going against the enjoyment and vice versa.

My approach, "process" was to train as the kids do and test as the kids do (standard track too, as the kids test)... Is this unrealistic? Obviously the kids have more energy, stronger bodies, they come back quicker from injury, they don't injure themselves so easily, they have less life responsibilities (maybe?), they have their skating friends that do the exact same thing, they have a support system from this skating friends community, they "play" with their friends, are in competition with their friends, are inspired and motivated by their friends. On the other hand, my injury hold me back big time, and I feel alone in my endeavor, while there are adult skaters, they all are very different from each other and myself.

I'm wondering if testing standard (that is part of my "process" now), may be unrealistic? Should I switch to adult track testing to make it more manageable, it would be easier to pass the tests, so maybe not motivate me so much, but would still be a process. I haven't tested in a while (I wasn't ready) and that makes me feel I'm not progressing. I believe I AM progressing but I don't have that confirmation of progress and that makes me not confident. I have to keep an eye on this.

I'm also looking forward to make the training "process" more automatic, in the sense that I would make a plan to do a certain number of a certain element and move on. At this point I feel I "judge" myself all the time in an effort to improve what it needs the most improvement. On the other hand I feel I've used a more automatic approach in the past and it felt boring and it hasn't allowed me much emotional involvement... that translates to me in enjoyment. But then again, judging myself gets me frustrated, that it's not any better.

So, after all this thinking and research, my conclusion is that there is no conclusion... I should keep an eye on balancing things, like I feel I was trying anyway, but it seems I've lost the awareness of it lately.