My other passions

When I started writing the blog I knew I eventually would want to share my other activities beside skating. I think most of the people look at these kind of activities as hobbies. I look at them more like passions.

Taken chronologically, from when I was a child I loved nature and animals, and to this day I'm passionate about green living and animal welfare. Then, in my teens my big love was fashion and I've learn to saw and later studied fashion design in parallel with my "real" studies. As I matured I discovered art. I love music (classical and pop), I love dance (ballet and all the others forms) and I love the decorative fine art (painting, sculpture, glass art, ceramics). My biggest love may be the snow and skiing. And you know I love skating...

Of course there is not enough time to emerge myself in all I mentioned. I find that at different points some activities take over. For the last 2 years skating was my main priority. And I literally arranged my weekly schedule around the ice rink schedule.

I'm helping the ally cats for a while now (probably 10 years). I've inherited from a neighbor that moved away a colony registered with the city. A nonprofit foundation organizes these colonies care, they help with the food and offer assistance for TNR (trap, neuter, return). This would eventually curb the number of feral cats and also would make the existing ones less aggressive. Last summer I've encounter two lost kittens (3, 4 weeks old) that I've brought in and bottle fed every 3 hours at first. It wasn't easy. Even harder was to see that the kittens cared by their mothers disappeared one by one.So this year, when I've seen a pregnant cat, I tried to take her in. Some of my friends adopted some kittens :) One friend help with some medical bills. One friend started to do what I'm doing. The nonprofit non kill shelter takes the kittens after they've reach 2 months and puts them for adoption. It is sooo hard to let them go, but I know it is the only way to have space to help others.

I mentioned last week that I've went to an outdoor concert and some art exhibition. In the summer I like the outdoor concerts a lot. A lot of the classical music was inspired by nature, and to me makes sense to be listened in the nature. This year, I really don't have the time to go that much. With work, errands and skating I'm away from home too much. The kittens need lot's of time...

I still occasionally sew, mostly for myself, but I've just made  a skating skirt for a friend that used to borrow mine for tests. Now she is moving away so she needs her own. I've also made a new (shorter) skirt for my moves test, the one that I didn't get to test.

The one think that I didn't get to do in 2 years now, is paint. I paint in watercolors and I am a selling artist. But as everything, it takes a lot of time for learning the technique, figuring out materials, finding inspiration. Plus that one room that I used as my studio is now some of the cats room.

I cannot do it all, but I love it all!

Not an auspicious time for my skating

I don't feel like skating.

Last week I skated on Monday and after I found out I won't test I didn't skate on Wednesday and Thursday as I have planed. On Friday, I still didn't feel like skating and I knew I won't skate on the week-end. I've asked a friend to come skate, so then I'll have to go. She cannot always skate on Fridays and I texted her asking if by any chance she can make it there, or at least she can talk on the phone because "I'm upset on the skating world". Read why, here. She answered that she'll move things around and be there. This is a friend I've met skating and she's become a good friend. She's also not the only one. So I thought right then, how can I be upset on the skating world when it has given me such good friends.

The skating was on the studio rink and the ice was chopped already and I was only 15 minutes late. I've heard later that it hasn't been cut after a mini hockey game. I was also very very stiff. We ended up just skating around and honestly I didn't enjoy it at all. I started telling her what bothered me, and I've got all worked up again .The previous days I've been trying actively to not think about it and let it settle. She, as other skaters I talked to, said consolatory that yes, this is the skating world... Somehow this makes me sadder. She said that, as she knows me, she is worried if I will be able to really block the negativity and enjoy skating. But she also said that any other activity I'll choose to do it's gonna be disappointing at points. That's life... So Friday, the skating was anything but good and the negativity towards skating was strong. But I've got to see my friend.


Monday I had a crazy busy day but I pushed myself to go on ice. In the summer on Mondays, we have adult ice but figure skaters and hockey players together. And trough the years there've been some big fights about.... music. The hockey players use the radio rock station very loudly and the figure skaters use soft lyrical music and also don't like the radio as the advertising is louder then the music played and so, distracting. I've heard one day two years ago, it got so bad that somebody from the rink management came and took away the music player! Didn't I tell you that the skating world is crazy? Last year I've made a list on my phone with classic rock and 80's. And I've went and asked every single skater the first 2 weeks if they would give it a chance, the hockey players would have rock music but at least the figure skaters would be happy it is not on the radio. And it worked. This Monday as I've got there I went straight to put on the music, but  one of the hockey players told me angrily to not touch the radio. The classic rock radio station was playing loudly. Then another hockey player came and explained that the other figure skaters on the rink agreed with the radio. Ok, no problem. In 2 minutes, the hockey player came back and said to put my music on because some of the figure skates started to complain. I said, ok, no problem, just please don't keep doing this, I actually really don't want any part of any conflict. But everybody relaxed afterwards and we've had no more music complains. I was approached then few more times and asked to hold negotiations about going the other way for the second half of the sessions and then going CCW again, that I did almost resentfully. I was still upset on the skating world, why were they bothering me? Still, we've got to live and hopefully skate another day.

Each time after a test I find I need a little adjustment period. I prepare for a test intensely for few months and the last month (when the registration is sent) is all about the test. It is naturally to feel without a purpose afterwords. Or tired. Or unmotivated. I didn't get to test and I don't know when I'll test, so I didn't feel I've had a purpose on ice this Monday. I've done a little bit of everything. It was no intensity so it felt without passion. But as I've had to talk so much with practically everybody on the rink, I've found myself realizing that even if they skate differently, like different music and think differently, everybody there loves to skate. There is a lot a love in this crazy, toxic skating world!

Each year I find it difficult to adjust to the summer skating schedule, and this year it is no different. The days, time and places and rink dimension where I can skate in the summer are not only different from the fall but different between them. Each day of the week is different. To be honest, I actually find it difficult to adjust to the summer. I love winter and I dislike heat. Also, I still don't have my car so I cannot get to the further away rink for my lesson, and next week I'll miss it because of the forth of July so I won't have my coach's guidance. I'll have to take one skating day at a time and see where it goes.

Many shades of disapointment

The test I was supposed to take this week-end, I'm not taking because of some registration trouble. I did mention last month about disagreeing with my club board. That makes the registration trouble feel personal, even if it may be not.

Lately I've got so much knowledge about how the skating world functions (rinks, clubs, judging, interests, volunteering) and I find a lot of it toxic. So clubs activity, tests, competitions and judging are all done by volunteers. And some of the things get done very late or never or not well. I find it frustrating that the biggest effort that the skating world puts, is to not get on the wrong foot with the others, instead of actually getting things done.

There are lots of winter movies that I love. One is Mystery Alaska. There is a scene when a lawyer describes the skaters in Alaska, "they skate to skate, they don't make a million bucks". I skate to skate. But there is no way to avoid interaction with the skating world and it may not be worth it for me.  I'm using this moment, when I feel emotional detached from skating to analyze it. To be honest, I always felt that skating is missing something. So either I find it and I find a way to detached myself from the toxicity around me, either I let it go. And yes, I'm prepared to let it go if it's gonna come to it.

Skating takes lots of effort, time, preparation, money. Is it worth it? Is there something else that I could do instead?

I skate because I love how it feels. I love many things, but skating is a physical activity so I'll compare it with other physical activities I do. Skiing, yoga, ballet. Skiing I love even more then skating, but it is not a constant in my life as I don't live close to the mountains. Yoga I loved but I don't like the heat in general, and usually yoga is done in a warm room, also I felt I needed to do it at least 3 times a week to maintained the strength, and  I used most of my time for skating. So I gave it up for fear of not hurting myself by overstretching. Ballet I love too, it has the same issue that would need more practice then the once a week I do. But if I would let skating go I could put that time and money into yoga, ballet and dance. Anyhow, what do they have all in common? They engage the body, the mind and do I dare to say the soul? The skiing is done in nature, that wakes up my spirit. Yoga is a spiritual activity. Ballet is art, art is expressing yourself. While skating has the programs with costume and music I feel they are even at high level missing true emotions. But whatever skating is for anybody else, I think I need to be able to put some soul, spirit, self expression into it in order to feel satisfied. I thought about this before but maybe not so clearly.

I was using the testing process to motivate myself. I theoretically can register now to test somewhere else in about a month so it shouldn't bother me that I'm not testing now. Practically is not that simple, or maybe I'm making it complicated. The membership with USFSA expires at the end of the month, so I'll have to register probably directly with them as I'm not keen to join another club. It is gonna be a little more expensive, like an equivalent of 3 private lessons. It is not a tragedy. The problem is that the summer ice schedule is different and I usually have difficulty adjusting, I'm usually loosing my skating rhythm. I don't need that before a test. But the bigger problem is that I may have lost the respect for the testing process. I'll have to answer myself that. But if I don't test how will I track my progress? Also I fell the coaches, my coach included are used to work following the testing levels.

I've asked myself before, what is the technical level needed as a foundation that would provide enough skills to express yourself. There was a learning period in skiing, yoga, and only then it became satisfying. I'm still very much a very beginner in ballet. And I'm somehow enjoy it even if I don't have the technique figured out. In skating I put way more emphasis on progress, is it too much? I asked myself this before also, and my answer was that I haven't reached my potential yet, I'm not happy with the level I'm at and I'm willing to put in the work, time and money for progress.

It seams that the main new thing in the equation of the positives and negatives aspects of the skating is the toxicity I felt in the skating world. How sad would be for that to stop me doing something I love. To add to that would be the question if giving up skating would free up time, money and the schedule constraints for activities that would make me happier.

My car broke down and because I don't test, I canceled my lesson that for the summer is at a  further away rink. I could still skate at my home rink. But there is an exposition I want to see down town and then a free concert with Yo-Yo Ma. Even without having having to test I would have chosen to skate as it takes that commitment to progress. Well, not today...

Mid month update

These last 2 weeks were again, just ok... The reason is the same, I'm tired, I don't get enough sleep. It seems that in order to skate well, I would need uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep. And I'm registered to test the Pre-Juvenile MITF next week-end.

The good news is that I've had a good skating day each week. That keeps me confident. But that's what I've used those 2 days for, to keep my confidence up. Instead, I should have organized and get myself together for the test. I was planing at the end of last month  to slow down and rework some technique and alignment and that didn't go that well. Now was the time to put together everything, see what levels of precision and power I can do at the same time, kind of marrying them. So that's my problem right now. Sometimes when I get more power I lose my balance and put the foot down. That's an automatic negative score... But then again, I cannot pull back too much from the power as it is a requirement of the test.

The other 2 days I skated on my own each week were hang in there days. I think it was still better then not skating at all. On a somehow positive note, those tired days accentuated my weakest skills, so in a way it pinpointed were I needed  extra work and corrections from my coach.

On the private lesson days I choose to skate just the half hour lesson, no warm up. By warm up I mean working on my own for half hour before the lesson. And that's because on the lessons on the weeks before I was tired from my half hour working on my own. I think it was a good decision.

On my lesson 2 weeks ago, my coach wanted a full performance of the test starting with pretending I look at the judges for the nod to start, the lifting of the arms and en engaging the posture, the confident intro steps and the powerful ending steps. We worked on these before but he gave me extra feedback on how he wants me to display power after each move. Also he pointed 2 spots where he suggested I take a deep breath. And one feels almost sneaky. I used to go to my starting point, assume the posture, lift the hand and then look at the judges. He said, to skate casually at the starting point, look at the judges, and when I have their attention, assume the posture, lift the arms and take a breath... It makes such a difference. He also wants me to put in an ending pose after my t-stop when I finish each move, so I can take a breath right there. If you red my post about my first MITF test, these intro and ending "presentation" used to stress me so much. Now I can actually use them in my benefit.

On my lesson last week he said to stop after each move for corrections. And that gave me some of that test organizing that I was seeking. I've realized a while ago that I need same key words/ reminders to help at a certain point in a dance. My choreographer for the Freestyle program actually said he was using them himself and suggested  places in the programs and words to use. Not to many, or it will  stop being useful. So I've got some "reminders" for each move now:
1. Power crossovers (reminder for backward, posture- push hips underneath).
2.3. The 3-turns were rushed, and on the backwards one I'm turning often before the middle of the lobe. I told my coach that it was a crowded sessions and I was eager to turn so I won't bump into somebody, and you know, fall and hurt my hip. He said excuses, excuses... But with what feedback he gave me I was able to choose one instruction/ thought that helps. On all of them I have to really look at the boards to be parallel with them. This also help my posture be erect.  For RFO is to let the left shoulder get back. For LFI is to turn my head to the right.
4. The power pulls, on all of them fall into the edges and lift up. Forward were fine (coach says hips forward but I would rather remember core engaged), backward there was always somebody in my way. I wouldn't say I'm worried about them, but I don't remember when was the last time I did them without obstacles, so really do them. Reminder: shoulders back.

5. On the back circle eight I'm just chocking when the coach is watching. Actually my theory is that the ice is more chopped then I'm used on my regular sessions.  Also, the coach is coaching me trough it, so I feel I'm letting go on the balance and concentration as I try to hear him and incorporate what he is saying. Excuses? I don't think so, because when I do it on my own, is fine! Reminder: posture (and look up). I feel that if I'm erect the push is good, and the alignments is good.
6. On the last move he always wants something more, like flow, power, look, up, sell it, but there is no specific instruction, But to be honest is the last one and I'm probably giving up a little. So, I cannot do the at at the test. Reminder: don't give up.

The very bad news is that the schedule at my rink changes this coming week and while there are few practice sessions I don't know which of them will be less crowded. On a crowded one I don't think I can do much good. And my lesson is at another rink. So yeah, ready or not.. here I come...

Monthly skating review: progress and goals adjustment

Last month went like this: the two weeks in the middle were great, the first and last week of the month not so much. The problem with these two not so good weeks was that th rink a different schedule, so I've got to skate less and I also lost my rhythm.

MITF: The skating that I did, went almost entirely towards the moves and the coach agreed that I am ready to test, well, unless I have a bad day. So I'm registered to test at the end of this month.

And talking about bad days, this last week I really didn't skate too well. I'm trying to find explanations on why, so I don't get discouraged... Firstly, mid month the coach didn't ask about more power so I thought I'll take the opportunity to work on perfecting things, mainly the alignment. Then, I was tired. I think the combination of the two (not purposely pushing so letting go of some speed, but then pushing even less than I thought I was, because I was tired), made my skating hesitant. Also, maybe I'm getting a little bored with these moves. I had few runs that went really well so in my mind, I think I've got them. But I have to still stick with them for a full month for the test.

Just 2 posts ago I talked about power in figure skating. And this last week was such an awareness. My coach's approach for progress in skating is to work on precision and then to work on speed. Of course with more speed you lose from the precision, so then you need to start working on it again, and so forth. That doesn't mean to totally let go of the speed... I think this last week I made the mistake of letting go of too much from the speed. But the edges are hold better at speed. I'm very curious to check this theory this week.

One thing worth mentioning, is that my coach made me work on the 5 minutes warm up that I'll do on the test day. The elements in the test are around 10 minutes, so there is no time to time to do all of them and there is no time to warm-up. My first tries were around 7 minutes, so I needed to cut a lot. Now I've got it down to 5 minutes but I still play with the order I do them. My coach said to consider that on the test day the other skaters probably will follow the test order so it may be better to do the same. So on the test day I'll have to warm up of ice. Then, on ice, I'll have to use some of the elements as a warm up, in the sense that I shouldn't try to do them well but just get used with the ice. The power crossovers are one like that, but I do just one line, first half forward, second half backward. I do the next line edge presses, 2 outside forward, 2-4 backward outside, the rest of the space backward inside.  These allow me to work on my alignment. I need them... Then I do the 3 turns, but just one of each. If I have problems with one of them I have time to do it again. Next would be the power pulls, back circle 8 and 5 step mowhak.

Ice Dancing: I did occasionally some warm up lines of chasses, progressives, swing rolls and the Ten Fox (the last of the Bronze dances I have to test) so I don't totally forget it. Some days it actually went good. Some days... you know... not. What I found myself drown to, were the dropped 3-turn for the European Waltz that I'll start working on after I finish with this Ten Fox. The Pre-Silver dances are way more interesting. Harder too, of course. But if my interest is high I work harder too.

Freestyle: I let it go again... I did some spins (forward and backward) and a Waltz Jump here and there. And I've run my program just once.

As for the plan for the next month, I do have to keep the moves a priority. The ice schedule will change middle of the month, and as the kids will be on vacation there is no way to know which sessions will be crowded and which not. So, I cannot count on that ice, I'll have to be really for the test by the middle of the month.